FML

So, apparently I like to learn things the hard way... I knew this already, but you did not. Today I am going share an example.



Yesterday morning I read this blog entry from HappyHourSue. It was hilarious. I laughed. Hard.



Last night when the boys were in bed and BG was downstairs watching something on TreeHouse, Hubby decided to attck me, carry me to bed and have his way with me. Yes!

While we were... doing... what we were doing, he suddenly stopped, turned, and "BG back downstairs to watch your cartoons!"

Oh, crap. Me being the sypathetic wife and mother I am, burst into laughter.

Once BG left the room Hubby says to me, "Hands on my feet! I felt hands on my feet! They couldn't have been your hands! Did you hear what she said to me?"

I of course am laughing even harder now and shaking my head, no.

"Daddy why is your bum showing?"

"BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" This is me, of course.

"I told her I was changing to get ready to go"

By this point I could hardly breathe. Hubby also found the humor in this, thank goodness. And eventually we mangaged to get back to *ahem* whatever it was we were doing before.

Moral of the story people: This is no joke. No, not just a funny story to pass the time. Head our warnings! And tell your Hubbies to close and lock the damn door! :)





Oh, no. I'm not done yet.





This morning I'm getting the kiddies a healthy breakfast of Honey Nut Cheerios (I only make hubby cook breakfast in the mornings on weekends, sometimes), and on the phone with a girlfriend making plans to meet at the grocery store this morning so we can have a quick little visit before she leaves for the weekend, when I see my cell flashing and vibrating. So I let her go, and Hubby has called 3x.

"Were you on the phone?"

"Um, yeah, that's why you couldn't get through"

"Okay, I ran outta gas half way to work"

"What?!"

"So after you get the boys on the bus, I need you to fill up the gas can and bring it out."

"So, you're just gonna sit on the side of the highway for an hour until I can get there?"

"I'm gonna have to."

"Okay...."



After calling my girlfriend to cancel our morning plans (there's no way I'll make it on time now), I rush the boys to the bus stop, throw BG in the van, and grab the gas can, which is only 1/2 full. Now I have to stop at a gas station to fill the thing up. Arg!



Somewhere in there I managed to have a second to check the account so I could leave Hubby money so he doesn't run out of gas on his way home. Hmmm, isn't Thursday pay day?



I guess we don't get groceries today either.



Can I go back to bed now?

Beyonce Rocks My World, & More Randomness

Ahhh, Monday... yuck!

1. Today is the day I clean up every room in the house after the entire family was visiting over the weekend.

HA! ... Or...

2. Today is the day I tidy a few things and think about all the other cleaning I should be doing while I sit here and type.

Yup, definitly the second.

As mentioned above we have a bit of a Beyonce obsession going on the house right now. My 5 year old son has a new favourite song.... Sweet Dreams. Have you heard it? Every time we get in the van or I open up iTunes he asks to hear the 'turn the lights on song' (she says that a few times through out).

I was thinking the other day it may be kinda weird that my son is so into Beyonce... I mean sure he heard the song some how (I had very little to do with it, maybe not, whatever). And then I remembered a very long time ago another one of my children had an bit of an obsession with the self proclaimed Diva (okay, so, maybe I own the CD, this is not a crime).

When my oldest was a very little, sweet baby boy. His Daddy did something very irresponsibe and got his Mommy knocked up again. Bad Daddy!

So while I should have been happily enjoying my first born's first and only 5-14 months. I was sick and exaughsted. Poor baby boy spent a lot of time hanging out on the living room floor playing all by himself while his Mommy folded laundry, ate, did homework and tried not to fall asleep. Did I forget to mention I was in college? Oh, and that summer I worked full-time shift work. Not. Cool. So, anywho, BB spent some time on his own, relatively speaking. And sometimes maybe we watched music videos... I mean, Oh who am I kidding. It's not good TV material for children under 1 (under 14, for that matter, but whatevs). I remember watching him this one time, just playing, or banging on things and squaking, all the sudden he stopped and turned to the TV. He was mesmerized, in a daze. All because of Beyonce.

So, technically maybe Beyonce doesn't rock my world, but my boys sure do seem to have a thing for her.

*******

And More Random Stuff

Styrofoam. Is the devil. It sits there, lurking inside boxes of electronics and other household items. Waiting for me to forget that it's there, so it can screeeeeech in my unsuspecting ears. Touch it? Ha, yeah right! Eat off of it... ohhhh, it's giving me the shivers just thinking about it. Hasn't everyone heard? Styrofoam is killing the planet. Common people, Mother nature needs you to stop producing this stuff. It's just bad.

Paper. Okay, so this one is a little bit trickier. I may be just about to relveal how weird I really am. I promise I'm not cerifiably crazy, or, at least I've never been certified crazy. ha...ha.. Moving on.

News papers: don't read them, I can't touch them. They feel gross, and they smell, they leave ink on my fingers.

Books: this one is odd because I love, love to read. My hands must be very moisturized to touch them. Some are worse than others.

Toilet paper: use it for what it is supposed to be used for, and that is it! Some people use it to blow their noses(kleenex), remove eye make up(cotton pads), wipe things up(rags/wipes) - must. stop. My gag reflex is kickin in.

Kleenex: blow and throw! I cannot understand how people can use one of these babies and then stuff it some where ie. sleeve, pocket, purse, to save for later use.

Napkins: why? my knife sticks to you and then i have bits of paper in my food, and then I'm supposed to touch you to my face? I think not!

The thing about all paper is that if you get it wet, damp, it gets all... i can't think clearly, just a minute... shreddy, bally, icky, gross - *vomit*

Foil. Why do you hate me so? Staring me down from your new location in your balled up little form. Do you tell Hubby you are afraid of the garbage so he'll feel sorry for you and let your icky little life last just a little longer? I do not know. I DO know however, that I will not be the one to end your life. Oh no. Hubby will return from work, and it will be his responsibility to finish what he started.

Okay, so, maybe I got a little carried away on that last one. Strange but true people, strange but true.

P.S. LB, just because Daddy is very bad doesn't mean we don't love you whole bunches!!

Quickie- Ya I get down like that ;p

Here's a quick rundown of the last 1 1/2ish months.

1. It was my birthday. I am now 27! Yeaaaah... or, oh crap. I'm almost 3.....0. Eeek.

Hubby threw me a very cool surprise party. This year not only did he invite his own friends, but mine as well. He's so awesome :) Much drinking, dancing and game playing ensued. All the while the babies slept peacefully in their beds.

Party on!
OMGoodnes, I match my chair. And yes those are my jammies, it's my party I'll get comfy if I want to.

This totally blows people away. We party and watch movies with the surround blairing, because Hubby is deaf, and our children are never the wiser. If there is one thing I have to be thankful for as parent (aside from the obvious health stuff), it's that my kids are rock awesome sleepers!

Oh! And I got, not one, but two Betty Boop cakes. Hubby thinks when I curl my hair I resemble her, a little. And apparently he's enjoying my chubby faze? I dunno :)

Mmmmmm, homemade DMomma cake and DQ. I guess he figured he'd cover all the bases.

Also, as an OMGoodnessGonnaBe30SoonAHImGettingTooOld gift to myself, I got my nose pierced. It didn't hurt, that much. And it looks pretty cute on me. Except, of course, this is me we are talking about. So a few weeks later I got an enormous zit right below it. Now it looks like my nose ring has a growth, that will not go away!

... anywho

2. BabyGirl is movin on up. From Mom's 'n Tots to Kindergym. *Sigh* She's growin up sooo much.

This is the conversation we now have about 50x a day:

BG: "Wanna see how BIG I am?"

Me: "Of course!"

BG: squatting, trails finger from toes to top of head while standing. "See! I'm almost as tall as you Momma!"

Me: "Wow! You are!"

Repeat

She is a self proclaimed Big Girl. Just don't ask her to pee on the potty before nap time. " I don't have any pee in there Momma!"

3. It was Halloween a few days ago now. The boys had a blast. Half the time they forgot to even say "Trick or treat" But people threw the candy in their bags anyway. BG on the otherhand was miserable for the majority of the ToT-ing. I think the whole concept really freaks her out. We're wandering around the neighbourhood, dressed funny, after dark, with all sorts of creepy looking strangers, knocking on random doors and asking for candy. Best holiday ever!

The boys were Mario & Luigi and BG was a Halloween 'Fairy' because it isn't socially acceptable for me to wear a tutu and Docs anymore :(

Halloween was once my favourite holiday. Now that I am too fat to dress up like a skanky witch, devil, angle, ploice officer, fire fighter, butterfly, or whatever and have a few too many pops it doesn't hold the same luster it once did. However, next year Hubby and I are dressing up, even if it's just to tote the kiddies around the neighbourhood.

Another thing I am thankful for, I do not own a scale. Those mini chocolate bars are too small to contain any form of calories anyway. Right?

4. I am sick. Again. This is the 3rd cold I have had since the 3rd week of school. Hmmmm, maybe this will be the last of them. I can only hope. My participation in my regular activities is beginning to lack, big time! And hanging around the house feeling shitty all the time really sucks!

5. The 'rents are coming for a visit... tonight. All of the Halloween paraphernalia is hanging out in the spare room on the futon. I guess I have some work to do...